I'm a huge fuck up.


Let's leave it at that.

I wound up being induced two days ago, because I had pretty much all of the symptoms of Toxemia. Toxemia is a condition where you're blood pressure rises, you retain lots of water, have really bad headaches, and usually, you're urine contains some protien. The reason why it can be a bad thing is because it can cause the person who has these symptoms to have seizures, breathing problems, and can sometimes be fatal to the mother and baby. I had gained 31lbs in less than three weeks with just water weight, had severe migranes that were getting worse, and my urine contained a small amount of protien. So, after going to the doctor and talking to her about these problems (we had been monitoring them for a few days) she consulted the doctor and it was decided that it was time for the baby to be born.

Labor was induced first with something that is used to flatten out your cervix and get it ready for labor. That was placed inside of me around 5:00pm on Monday and was taken out at 5:00am on Tuesday. What they put in me was like a small tampon that releases small amount of horomones that help to soften and flatten the cervix. At around 9:00am on Tuesday, they started an IV with the hormones that are used to start actual labor. The labor started pretty much right away and when I was at 4-5cm, I was given an Epidural (life savor!) and from there we wound up waiting for quite a few hours before it was time to deliver.

Morpheus Alaxander James Randall was born last night at 8:02pm. He weighs 8.2lbs and measures at about 19.5inches. He looks just like his daddy and is in wonderful health! Delivery took about an hour and when he came out, you could tell he had really good lungs, because he was screaming his head off! lol

Anyway, I just thought I would fill those of you who were interested in on what's been going on lately.

We've lost the internet and have no phone minutes, so this will probably be the only post on here for a while.

So, thank you to those of you who made it for the delivery and to those of you who came to see me afterward. It meant a lot to me.

I wrote these letters tonight. One is for my mom and one is for my grandpa.. read them if you want, otherwise... OH...


Mom: ( Read more...Collapse )



Grandpa: ( Read more...Collapse )

I just wanted to send out a big THANK YOU to all of our friends and family that were available or could've made the time, for all of your help in our time of need! It's great knowing that we have so many loving and caring friends and family! It's really such a great comfort!


THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!


Just remember what Karma means... when we're doing fine and you need our help.. well, fuck yourself. K?



(Just so we're all clear here and on the same page: As of, well... it's been going for a while now, but this just made it definite for me. I'm not sure about James, but I know he's pissed and hurt too... Anyway, as of right now, I (we) have no friends or family. So, all of you can just go fuck yourselves or whatever makes your fucking lives just so perfect and happy. Thanks for showing us how much we really mean to you. It's nice to know the truth once and for all.. Just don't come crying to us when you need something in the future, because, well.. you all know how Karma is - what you give is what you get in return and if you believe in the three fold law... well, good luck to you. Anyway, thanks for nothing everybody...)

James and I spent hours last night searching the web for possible wedding dresses and this is what we came up with. If you look, keep in mind that I'm not looking for the traditional wedding dress, preferably no white or some other color with white, and that we plan on having a traditional celtic wedding.

Anyway, which one(s) do you like?

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This is a CLEAR picture of what the ring looks like.



It's 5/8 ct.

This is the one we were going to get:



This one is 1/2 ct.

I would be...

ENGAGED!!!!</font></font>

Here are the ring pictures

( It's almost 1 KarotCollapse )

Over $2,000
White Gold
Diamonds ALL OVER the front
GORGEOUS!!!!

The date isn't exact, but we plan on having it 3 years from this summer.

He didn't exactly propose either. We were shopping at the mall and he took me into Rogers and Holland to look around. Then he told me to pick one out and well... now I'm wearing it!

My parents are thrilled, his don't know yet. We're not sure how to tell them...

There's more to it, but I'm still shell shocked and can't think straight enough to write it all down.

Anyway... *SQUEE!*

Why is there noone there when I need to talk to them?

Maybe it's because I'm a horrible friend/person in reality.

In that case, it's very understandable.

... I just feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown/panic attck.